My Cat is a False Teacher

This is our family cat, Pigeon. She was a shelter cat that we brought into our home almost 11 years ago. We love her. This is a picture of her sitting in my bed. If you’ve ever owned a cat you can tell that we love her because you know how difficult it is to get a good picture of a cat. If you’ve ever owned a black cat you know that it is nearly impossible to get a good picture of a black cat. A picture like this takes work!

Despite our family’s love for Pigeon we have cast her out of our home because of her false teaching. Pigeon believes in the Gospel of Overflowing Urine. About 6 months ago she decided that her pee should no longer be reserved for her litter box and that she would like to share it on our carpet.

If you’ve never been around cat urine, you should know that it’s THE biggest problem with owning a house cat. If you are not vigilant about it your entire house can easily be consumed with its distinct odor. Once a cat smells its own urine it feels at liberty to pee in the same vicinity again. This begins to spread throughout the house and eventually the cat views the entire house as a litter box. Like all strong odors, if you live in it long enough, you begin to get used to it and lose the ability to notice it. If your house begins to smell like urine YOU begin to smell like urine. If you smell like cat urine you may not even realize it, but everyone else will. You probably knew someone like this at school. If you don’t take action when you first start noticing the problem you may find yourself a convert to your cat’s false teaching.

Because of our love for Pigeon we did our best to negotiate her presence in our house despite this false teaching. Why wouldn’t we, she’d been a important part of our family for 10 years and added so much to our lives. We cleaned her litter box more frequently, we bought her a different litter box, we barricaded her new favorite pee locations. But these interventions were to no avail. She was determined to live out her new gospel.

Eventually we decided that she could no longer be a part of our household and confined her to the garage with a pet door to the outdoors. Because of the presence of coyotes and frequent sightings of “Missing Pet” signs this was not an easy decision. Pigeon for her part has largely rejected this decision. She is constantly looking for opportunities to enter the home. Because we still love her we are always tempted to let her stay. But the thing with a false teacher is that if you aren’t vigilant about keeping them out you end up smelling like cat piss.